The All Purpose Ointment

This post is dedicated to Kryssa. Thanks for the inspiration to write and then copy-paste it from facebook. 

I once got a really bad insect bite on my hand while I was living with my host family. Long story short, I scratched too much and it started bleeding so I covered it with a band-aid to both help with the healing and to remind me of my scratching misfortunes. When I walked out into the living room and saw my host mom sitting on the couch I knew I'd made a mistake. There was no way I could make it to the kitchen without her noticing the wound on my hand. She asked what was wrong and before I could escape, she grabbed my hand, removed the band-aid, shouted something in Spanish to my host sister, and did her best to explain to me that she had something to "fix it". Moments later my host sister arrived with a jar. My host mom (who still held my hand captive) rubbed on some "ointment" from the jar and released my hand. Not but an instant after my new-found freedom was acquired did I feel THE. MOST. INTENSE. BURNING. SENSATION. at the site of the bite. I tried desperately to explain to my host mom in some sort of broken Spanish that MY HAND WAS ON FIRE!!! She nodded and said that it would sting a little, but not to worry. It was at this point that I reached for the jar. I turned it around, searching for any semblance of a label, only to find that the magic ointment was none other than Vicks VapoRub. Never. Ever. Again. From there it was a brisk walk to the bathroom, some vigorous scrubbing, a plethora of Neosporin, a new band-aid, and finally some light praying.